Friday, March 04, 2005
ok fine now i get it. all this while i've been lying to myself. everything has been a hoax. even dad lied to me. he said i make music with my violin. no way. today i finally realised. i don't make music. i make noise. i'm noisy and my playing is so unpresentable that i have to go somewhere else in order to not disturb the rest. it's nothing to do with my violin. it's the plain truth, i suck. oh gosh how have i landed myself into this situation. i should have joined something better. perhaps band? CO? i don't hate my current CCA. i simply dislike it because it makes my look like a total idiot. i'm not as average as i think anymore. i totally screwed my CCA choice and now i'm regretting and complaining. sigh... maybe i should stop whining and being such a useless person. maybe i should do something about it. but how... i just wanna hope that people won't look down on me... coz if i'm not me, i'll hate this person called gloria ngiam huiyi to the cold hard core.
just did it at 5:38 PM