Tuesday, May 03, 2005
ballet was bad today. i don't know what happened. i just broke down in the middle of class. miss wendy wanted us to do the dance today and duh we ALL didn't know how to do it. so we just stood there and she started asking us questions. AND obviously no one answered. i mean, questions are always meant for ME to answer right? sickening. then after that all the blame goes to me. AND YES WENDY SEOW. STOP DIRECTING ALL YOUR QUESTIONS AND LECTURES AT ME. AND YES TO THE LOUSY PEOPLE IN MY LOUSY SHITTY BALLET CLASS. STOP SHUTTING UP LIKE A DUMB FOOL. STOP DEPENDING ON ME FOR EVERYTHING. STOP THINKING THAT I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU GUYS
. i mean like come on la. you all come for ballet every week and all you do is fool around. GET SERIOUS people. STOP relying on me. GET A LIFE. start dancing properly.i hate my ballet class. i hate my ballet teacher. i hate my life. i hate me. i hate everything about me. i hate my face. i hate my body. i hate my soul. i hate my tears. i hate the feeling of depression. i hate this shitty world. i hate the fact that hideto is dead and i can never ever see him again. i hate the way i cry so often. i hate the fact that the hide museum will close this september. i hate everything in this universe. i wish i can die right now. i wish i can have painless death. i wish i can see hideto now. i wish everyone on this earth is dead. i wish i'm the only one left. i wish i can do anything i want. i wish the tears can stop coming. i wish my life isn't that sucky. i wish that everyone can go away. i wish that i can get a towel and tie it round the doorknob of my bathroom and them hang myself there. i wish that after i hang myself i can finally see my pink spider. i wish all these can be done. now. right now.
just did it at 9:00 PM