Friday, June 24, 2005
for once i'm really nervous and scared about performing. i wasn't like that for my ballet concerts. i was excited to dance away on my stage. but now it's different. i really feel so inferior. i just have this terrible gut feeling that i'll screw up and cause everyone shame. miss ku will come after me with a butcher's knife. people around me will be unhappy. i'll waste everyone's efforts. sulin will be soo mad at me coz she's angry that she had to spend her last week of holidays and i'll just waste it all! oh my god. i'm so afraid. i'll probably just stick a mute on my violin. no one will hear my atrocious playing then. oh god but still i don't want to play. i'm so nervous. for once, i'm really scared. really, really scared.
just did it at 9:58 PM