Tuesday, November 01, 2005
didn't want to blog but since everyone's busy on msn, i shall do so to kill some time. well yesterday went out for F.E.A.R event again. wasnt very interesting but still i had fun. went home late. today went out with sisters. had some arguments and fights. had fish & co. with sister for dinner. waited about 40 mins for our seat. sat on the railings of the busstop and i started to sing x japan songs rather loudly. people stared but fuck, who cares. dinner was good. very good. mussels tasted very very freshy when they turned cold. guess we could have eaten them earlier. the live performance was nice. 4 happy people celebrated their birthdays. they all seemed to have fun. felt zoned out during dinner. depressing feeling came back. just didn't have the appetite to do anything. felt very pissed off at the whole fucking world and it's happy people. dinner with sister was weird because i kept wanting to cry so i had to keep avoiding her eyes. it was just bad la. after dinner took 14 home. waited a damned long time. once again felt like sinking down into the earth on the bus. felt annoyingly empty inside me. well, moonman dawg called. >< and again i cried when i heard moonman dawg's squeaky voice. =\ it's so weird. it just makes me even sadder whenever i hear it when i'm sad. talked to him for like, 35 mins until i reached home. well, thanks for lifting my spirits man. =D the fucking bus driver had some kind of a problem and he didn't stop at my stop. he just drove past it. argued with him about it but apparantly that bastard insisted that he wasnt in the wrong. i got so fuckingly pissed that when i got off at the next busstop i scolded him very loudly. something like: you che meh one la! don't know how to drive then don't drive, you blind bastard. got home. and i'm damn worried about tomorrow. i'll have to see ku tomorrow. my horror has arrived. x( i don't want to see her. i'm like so damn afraid of her and i know she'll say something bad about me, i just know it. i have a strong gut feeling that she'll embarrass me infront of the whole se cohort again. and my face will go down to the sewers. x( hide help me. please make me fall so ill tomorrow that i can't stand up from my bed so i can skip se. x( don't let me see ku. i'm terribly afraid of her. i know, i'm going to screw up like i always do.
just did it at 11:31 PM