Wednesday, January 25, 2006
so much to say, no one to say to. i'm not angry anymore. just very very very confused. everything just messed like. like shit. like fucking bloody shit. i guess the scene just now had been enough for everyone to take already. i agree it was rather heated. everything just went wrong. i still don't think that it's anyone's fault but i'm still bewildered by the question: why did she cry? sure she only wanted to help. but it's HER choice to help afterall. she should have expected the negative feedback. afterall there's nothing in this world that can satisfy everyone. she should have expected that not everyone would be happy about her decision. why is she still crying? and now everyone flocks to her because they think yuehuan made her cry! which is so absurd. excuse me, WE are the ones who should be crying. both me and her. surely you people know how difficult it is to work with 4 boys. she really don't have to put so much unneccesary stress on herself. no one's forcing her, no one's blaming her. certainly the fault lies with no one. it's just that one thing she did, which was to cry, that started this big thing. no one ever blamed her! yuehuan merely asked her why she had to make that decision. surely she didn't have to have such a giant reaction? yes we all know that she's feeling very stressed up. but what for? no one ever told her to do this and do that. and if she chooses to do it that way, she should be always ready to bear all consequences, since she made that decision. she shouldn't start crying. because when she does, majority of the class starts pitying her. and poor yuehuan, who is the REAL VICTIM will be known as the bad guy. i don't know how this whole fuck mess came about. but whatever it is, i still think that it's no one's fault. people are just all overreacting. there's nothing to feel stressed about! no one's blaming you. no one's blaming YOU either. both of you, no one's at fault.
i'm already fucking pissed about ME HAVING TO GROUP WITH 4 BOYS (not that i dislike you, ryan =]) ESPECIALLY KENNETH. and now this whole war comes about. i don't know what to say. i'm just going to shut myself in the room, have a cup of iced tea, turn on the conditioner, listen to enya's music and sleep. this day has been too much for us all to take. chill out 2I, things MAY NOT be as bad as you all think. no one's at fault. it's just that people are pushing the blame to themself, making the other party seem like the bad guy through their 'nobility' just forget about this whole thing, and tomorrow will be another day started afresh. we'll all forget about today.
and sinhui, chill. it's hard on you but just relax. being chairperson isnt supposed to be torturous. you're putting too much pressure on yourself. seriously girl, everything's fine.
and as for me, i'll just go talk to the wall since it's the only thing i can talk to without hesitation. today has been too much for me as well. i need to start breathing.
just did it at 11:10 PM